I’ve always been interested in cinematography. Even back when I first started shooting I wondered how the big films achieved those beautiful effects. I knew none of the “high end” video cameras I came across seemed to be able to capture the beauty or depth of field. Then came the 5D Mark II and it changed everything. Since then I’ve wanted one and finally, I have one. I even have some good glass. I look forward to making some really great stuff.
I used to believe this city had hope, yet now the only hope I see is escape. I used to believe that there was more to this place than met the eye, but reality has set in. The Tone, what a fucking joke. As my time in this city comes to an end I’ve come to realize the truth. This place is nothing more than a failed city on a crash course towards mayhem, it always has been. The college was once a haven but the filth has crept into it’s halls as well. What this city needs is a merciless purge of the cancer that grows inside it, but that purge will never come. Some things just aren’t worth saving and this city is one of them.
I wake up every morning only to catch that Stockton stench, that smell of ghetto scum. It’s thick and exhausting. It’s negative culture, it’s negative people, hell, it’s god damn air. It’s made me a negative person once again. Even the college has fallen victim to the city, the counselors preach failure more than anything else. It’s hard to hold on to hope when the people who are supposed to help you move forward feel more like they’re trying to prevent you from moving at all. It’s all bullshit and it’s taken its toll. You can only keep the anger at bay for so long and at some point you can let it consume you or choose to embrace it. I guess you could say this city has broken me. Despite how resilient I thought I was, it’s changed me.
Mornings are often beautiful. They can provide an escape from the everyday stresses of life. The temperature is cool, the ambient light just enough, and the sounds of peace surround you. Sometimes I’ll even play some classical music to enhance the beautiful experience. It’s magical. I find that I get the most work done around those hours. My creativity boosts throughout the night through to the morning and plummets during the day. I guess you could say the morning is the pinnacle moment. Sometimes you need a little boost to reach that pinnacle, that’s where a good cup of coffee comes in.
All you really need to start off the day is an idea, a connection, and nice cup of coffee. I remember how much I used to be against coffee, these days it’s almost daily. Like Mike Ditka said, “Coffee is the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions.” It’s good stuff. I’d say my favorite cup of Coffee is surpsingly Denny’s Coffee. It’s simple and get’s the job done and I guess it’s grown on me. It’s helped me get through countless all nighters and the taste is something familiar and comforting, plus it just works.
God I love Coffee.
Cute little fella isn’t he? It’s crazy how the little things can have such an impact on us. Like the flickering T8 that hangs above me or the fan spinning slowly as I work through the night. The world is huge and packs so many possibilities. Despite this, many forget there’s much more to life than the usual bullshit. Of course almost everyone “knows this” but few actually listen. People become so enveloped in day to day dramas that they forget about really matters. They lose focus.
I’m guilty of this as well. I’ve lost sight of what really matters to me. I’ve always said that my work is the most important thing, that nothing comes before it, but these past few months are a showcase of how I’ve failed to dedicated myself to it. Instead I’ve been wasting my time listening to what idiots have to say. I’ve been dedicating too much energy to projects that don’t benefit me in any way, not to mention exhausting all my resources in the process. It’s time to get back to work.
It’s time. No longer should we stand for this incompetence. As these people continue to look after no one’s interests but their own, they systematically destroy everything generations have built. Their job is to help us, not anger us. To support us, not to mock and ridicule us. To make things easier, not so inefficient and complex that nothing gets done. To listen. If they are not fit to lead, something must be done. Someone has to remind them what their purpose is. We break a rule and are exiled without question, yet it’s okay when they break the rules right? Just let is slide. I’m angry. I’m sure you are too. You can complain – or you can mobilize. It’s time we do something more than voice our complaints. It’s time we start looking for solutions that cannot be found within their level of authority, of which they maintain absolute control. Someone out there is willing to listen, we just have to find them. Prove your willingness to stand not by me, but by each other. That is where true strength is born. The machine wants to paint itself as the good guy, we will not let them.